Not All Wounds Are Visible: National Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2025

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month — a time to shine light on the hidden pain so many carry. Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. Some wounds are invisible, yet they can run deep, lasting long after physical harm.

The Reality in Numbers

• More than 1 in 3 women (35.6 %) and 1 in 4 men (28.5 %) in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

  
  

• On average, 20 people every minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the U.S.

  
  

• Domestic violence includes not just physical violence but emotional, psychological, economic, sexual, and controlling behaviors.

  
  

• Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

  
  

• Among victims of intimate partner violence, 85 % are women.

These numbers are more than data. They represent millions of hidden stories of fear, resilience, and survival.

Why So Many Keep Silent

Why do so many live with abuse without telling a soul? The answer is seldom simple. Often, silence is a survival tool.

Fear and Threats

Many survivors stay quiet because they fear what will happen if they speak — retaliation, escalation of violence, threats against children or loved ones. Leaving an abuser can be the most dangerous time for a survivor.

Isolation and Control

Abusers often isolate their partner — cutting them off from friends, family, and financial or transportation freedom. That makes it harder to reach out or leave.

Shame, Guilt, and Self-Blame

Survivors often internalize messages that they somehow are to blame, or feel ashamed that they couldn’t protect themselves or leave sooner.

Stigma and Disbelief

Many fear not being believed or being judged. Some worry others will minimize their experience or blame them. When survivors do speak, negative reactions from others can push them back into silence.

Lack of Resources or Safe Options

Survivors may lack safe places to go, financial independence, legal support, or childcare. They may feel trapped by practical constraints.

Emotional Bonds, Hope, and Promises

Abuse often cycles between apology, remorse, and promise of change. Some survivors stay because they love their partner, believe they can change, or hold onto hope.

Spiritual or Cultural Beliefs

In some cases, beliefs or teachings about duty, faith, or marriage may discourage leaving or speaking up. Survivors may feel pressure to endure.

We must never reduce survivors to statistics. Yet understanding the systemic forces and emotional burdens behind silence helps us respond with compassion, not judgment.

What You Can Do

• Listen and believe. Simple validation can break the silence barrier.

  
  

• Offer safe support. Even a message like “I’m here if you ever want to talk” can matter.

  
  

• Educate yourself. Understand what abuse looks like — especially the nonphysical forms.

  
  

• Challenge blame and stigma. We must stop asking “Why did she or he stay?” and instead ask “Why did she or he hit?”

  
  

• Share trustworthy information. Help survivors know they are not alone.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, help is available 24/7 via the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and at TheHotline.org

You deserve healing. You deserve to be seen. You deserve justice and freedom — whether your

wounds are visible or not.

You are not alone.

— Debi Kennedy, CTCP